saw my friend who lost her husband 8 years ago. she is my age.
she reminded me to stay on my own agenda.
that it is so easy to become distracted by other people's agendas.
and, while my decisions might not be popular in certain circles, to hold steady because at the end of the day i'm taking care of me and my daughters, and our needs.
i will certainly try to heed her advice.
my time with her today was invaluable.
#scandalthursday
one more day off from working out.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
an extra boost of immunity
my spirit always gets an extra boost of immunity when i hear from friends who have a story, observation or personal connection with sara or morgan. sometimes a friend will share something with me that comes from their son or daughter. it touches me so much.
i feel grateful that the girls are being watched over and cared for within their circles.
i also feel relieved how open-and-warm-hearted the girls are towards their friends and community.
it shows me how right this community is for us.
i feel reassured that my daughters are going to be more than "okay."
it also allows me to know something personal about the girls without me having to be there.
we're all feeling a little run down so i prepared each of us some extra vitamin C with emergen-C.
taking tomorrow off to get some extra rest.
i feel grateful that the girls are being watched over and cared for within their circles.
i also feel relieved how open-and-warm-hearted the girls are towards their friends and community.
it shows me how right this community is for us.
i feel reassured that my daughters are going to be more than "okay."
it also allows me to know something personal about the girls without me having to be there.
we're all feeling a little run down so i prepared each of us some extra vitamin C with emergen-C.
taking tomorrow off to get some extra rest.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
music
morgan shared with me tonight how important music is to her healing, and to how she understands herself.
one of her cousins made her a music mix, which inspired morgan to compile two cds - 1) a mix of songs to help a friend "get pumped up" and 2) a bunch of songs to help a different friend find some peace in the hectic world of high school.
back in february, morgan named this song as her theme song...she is so her daddy's daughter.
i sure admire her.
circuit works 6a!
one of her cousins made her a music mix, which inspired morgan to compile two cds - 1) a mix of songs to help a friend "get pumped up" and 2) a bunch of songs to help a different friend find some peace in the hectic world of high school.
back in february, morgan named this song as her theme song...she is so her daddy's daughter.
i sure admire her.
circuit works 6a!
Monday, November 4, 2013
this is actually from last night, but it didn't post
vulnerable
this is a word i often go-to when i'm feeling insecure. i feel unsafe when i think i might get hurt. there has been so much pain and hurt this year, and the moment i allow myself to be open to new good, i think i do feel vulnerable - and i wish i wouldn't be so defensive sometimes. vul·ner·a·ble ˈvəln(ə)rəbəl/ *adjective* ** 1. *1*. susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. "we were in a vulnerable position" synonyms:helpless, defenseless, powerless, impotent, weak, susceptible i love this cover from Fleet Foxes...I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY got my scandal in just time for the new week.
went to CW this morning.
will post again tonight.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
a sad girl
today while sara and i were sharing in some girly time (mani-pedis), a young woman walked into the salon.
the manicurist took her right away and seated her at one of the stations in the salon.
not sure why i was originally so intrigued by her.
but i found myself studying her.
she looked so sad.
in fact, she had a frown.
her skin and eyes looked so tired.
her hair was undone, pulled up in a mess of a bun.
her shoulders sagged.
i wondered.
i observed her engagement ring and wedding band.
i couldn't help thinking about her. what happened to this pretty young woman.
when the manicurist asked her how she was, she barely lifted her head and could hardly look into the manicurist's eyes, but she was able to speak "fine, thank you," and gave a very quiet smile.
did someone she knew die? was her husband ill? did she lose a baby or child? what bad news did she receive? is she depressed?
do i look like her? am i so apparently sad? do people stop and wonder what happened to me?
am i that sad girl too?
ran this morning with morgan. doing yoga with sara, morgan, etc tomorrow.
the manicurist took her right away and seated her at one of the stations in the salon.
not sure why i was originally so intrigued by her.
but i found myself studying her.
she looked so sad.
in fact, she had a frown.
her skin and eyes looked so tired.
her hair was undone, pulled up in a mess of a bun.
her shoulders sagged.
i wondered.
i observed her engagement ring and wedding band.
i couldn't help thinking about her. what happened to this pretty young woman.
when the manicurist asked her how she was, she barely lifted her head and could hardly look into the manicurist's eyes, but she was able to speak "fine, thank you," and gave a very quiet smile.
did someone she knew die? was her husband ill? did she lose a baby or child? what bad news did she receive? is she depressed?
do i look like her? am i so apparently sad? do people stop and wonder what happened to me?
am i that sad girl too?
ran this morning with morgan. doing yoga with sara, morgan, etc tomorrow.
Friday, November 1, 2013
teen angst
the hardest thing for me as a mom is to watch both morgan and sara go through their "normal" teenage angst on top of losing their dad this year.
it angers me tremendously, and i can only do so much to alleviate their stress.
running in the a.m.
it angers me tremendously, and i can only do so much to alleviate their stress.
running in the a.m.
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