yizkor

it was surreal knowing i was there for glenn in yizkor this year, for 20 years i have been attending this service in memory of my dad.
the words and images from the prayer book, the spoken emotions shared by the rabbis, and the deep profound music hit chords in my heart, unearthing a newer sense of loss.
there were moments in yizkor that felt unbearable. 
my chest felt heavy, my mind burdened.
all i could do was hold myself.
will it feel like this every year?