if only

it's hard not to think about the "if onlys." 8 months later, 5 years later, 10, 20...it is hard to imagine a time when i won't think - if only i had known glenn was in so much pain, what kind of hell he was living in.  maybe i could have helped him, could have changed what he was going to do...if only i knew. if only i could have. 
there are days when i feel like i have to forgive myself for not knowing what he was feeling.
today was one of those days.
taking yoga at 7a tomorrow.